Monday, December 31, 2012

The long cold lunchtime of the soul.

As some may know, I had an issue this time last year. I had, and I've no reason to be embarrassed about this, a full breakdown. The cause of this was a mixture of things. Exhaustion, stress and personal issues, both new and old. The catalyst for the final snap was a nasty piece of work I had the unfortunate luck of crossing paths with. The day of the final snap I gave serious thought to calling it a day. Fortunately I didn't. A moment of clarity stepped in and swayed my decision.

Since that day I have fought an uphill battle. Some days are better than others. Some days are worse. I take the rough with the smooth. Over the last two months the rough days are getting less and less. I've not only seen the light at the end of the tunnel, I've emerged like a guy about the sing his little heart out on stars in their eyes. "Tonight Matthew I'm going to be.....the old me"!!

The path here has been a rocky, unstable one. I've stumbled but never fallen. I have however learned a few home truths. Some pleasant some not so. I've learned that no matter how bad things can get the human condition can and must win through. I've learned I'm stronger than I ever though. I've also learned that friendship can we weak in some cases. In some cases you'll be surprised how self centred some people are. There are "friends" out there that will stay around as long as your time is best served serving them. People that will brush aside your needs as soon as they encroach on theirs. A good friend refers to people like this as energy vampires. I don't believe in fairy tales so for now I'll stick with the term users. A childish term for something so selfish.

For now I'm content to continue to grew stronger. Soon I'm going to have to start pushing myself a little harder. I have plans. Big ones. Messy times are coming. Charcoal always is.

Location:Shanliss Way,Dublin,Ireland